Edgewood Branch
August 9, 2014
Lessons from My Dad
How My Dad is Like a Black Belt
This Black Belt Essay is dedicated to my Dad, Jerry Lancaster. My Dad passed away two years ago today. Even though the only Black Belt my Dad ever wore said “J.C. Penney” on the inside, the lessons he taught me are a perfect fit for the Tenets of Tae Kwon Do.
My Dad was a hard-working, God-fearing man who loved his family. I of course was his favorite daughter. And yes, I do have a younger sister. Family was so important to my Dad. I am blessed with several families. One of my very important families is my Tae Kwon Do family. You are all a part of that. Even though we sometimes put the “fun” in dysfunctional, we are family just the same. One of the first people to call me when my Dad passed away was Grandmaster Jung. He told me that his heart hurt for me. Even though Grandmaster Jung is too young to be my Dad, he is still part of my family; like an older brother. Master McDowell was the first person to give me a hug when he found out about my Dad. He’s not older than I am.
On the day my Dad passed away we had scheduled a photo shoot for our branch, the Edgewood Branch. We had, had this scheduled for over a month. Most of our students were going to be there. I stayed in Iowa that night to take the photos because that was one of my commitments to our Tae Kwon Do family. This was not out of disrespect for my Mother or my Father. I knew my Mom was in good hands. And it was a chance to let my sister spread her wings and be in charge at home in Arkansas. My Dad would have appreciated me empowering her to help. He raised me to be responsible and to carry through with my commitments; especially commitments to family. In this case to my Tae Kwon Do family. That’s what my Dad would have wanted me to do. I didn’t make it to the August test two days later because we left early the next morning to head for Arkansas so I could take care of my daughter jobs.
Courtesy: My Dad was always a gentleman. We grew up in Arkansas were Southern gentlemen are just that; gentlemen. We learned respect at an early age. Yes Sir or Ma’m and No sir or Ma’m were common responses. We were taught to be considerate and respectful.
Integrity: My Dad exhibited the highest level of integrity of any man I have ever known. And I know some great men. If Jerry Lancaster told you something you knew it was the truth. He was well respected in our church, our community and by the people with whom he worked. The only time you might doubt my Dad's word was when he would say something like, "I'm so hungry I'm about to turn left handed". That was
always followed by his famous, mischievous grin.
Perseverance: My Dad had many other sayings. I could give you a list. One of my favorites was, “You may give out, but never give up”. He lived that, and he taught us to follow it also. My one major regret in my Mom job of raising my children is that I was not able to provide a home for them that included both their mom and their dad. Even though they are all adults now, I still try to do the best I can for them; 0ften time playing the roles of both mom and dad. I guess I have done okay because all three of my sons are also Black Belts. And my daughter still exemplifies the Tenets of Tae Kwon Do, even though she stopped at her favorite color, Orange Belt.
Self-control: My Dad taught me to use self control even in the worst of situations. I never saw him show real anger in the 55 years we shared on this earth. He was a man of principal. I would have rather had him yell at me for something I had done wrong than to see him disappointed in me for having done something wrong. Fortunately, that didn’t happen very often.
Indomitable spirit: My Dad never gave up. Due to a variety of health issues, he had had parts removed, parts replaced, had been re-plumbed several times and had gone through many cancer treatments. Every time one of these health issues came up, rather than worrying about it, he just asked what they needed to do, and how soon they could schedule the surgery.
My Dad also served his country in the Arkansas Army National Guard for nearly 30 years. He would want me to tell you that. He was active in our church, AARP and the Conway Senior Center. He also coached girl’s softball and women’s volleyball.
My Dad’s father passed away when my Dad was nine-years-old. A few years later his mother married the man who raised him and the man I call my grandfather “Pa”. (Remember, it was Arkansas). Pa could not have loved my Dad more, or raised him better, had he been his biological father. He was his Dad.
A good friend of mine’s father passed away when my friend was 16. I can’t imagine not growing up with my Dad. I am so glad he got to know my four children and got to see them grow up. I know he’s in heaven now watching all of us continue to grow up. I am SO thankful he got to celebrate his 80th. birthday a couple of months before he passed away.
If you still have your Dad, let him know you love him while you still can. No one can replace him.
Even though humor is not one of the Tenets, my Dad taught me to use humor to work through life. And that is another reason that I dedicate this Black Belt essay to my Dad, Jerry Lancaster, who was born June 19, 1932, in a log cabin he built himself.
Pilsung!
