April 2013
Life in the Valley
So many students have written about why they started Tae Kwon Do, what it has brought to their lives and why they want to be a black belt. In fact, at age eight, I wrote an essay for my black belt test that addressed my favorite Tae Kwon Do tenet. It was indomitable spirit. Little did I know that my mentality would manifest into this concept that I wrote about as a child. Thus, my current story begins at age thirty after I exit the dojang. The art of Tae Kwon Do is a lifestyle.
I began Tae Kwon Do at a very young age. Opportunities arose for me, allowing me to learn and succeed at different things. With instilled values and discipline from my time in martial arts, the ability to succeed was unpreventable. I became a great student and a notable long distance runner in high school. I was recruited by many colleges and universities. I chose to run cross country and track at Iowa State University.
Being a Cyclone student-athlete was a great experience, however, after 4 years of tough running, daily workouts, academics, and involvement in extracurricular clubs, my mind and body slowly wore down. I was running on maximum power 100% of the time. Attempting to balance this regime was unmanageable and I eventually broke down. However, in the tough situation I was still able to find the seed needed to plant my tree of life.
My husband says that some of the most beautiful things are found in valleys where they cannot be seen from the high peaks of the mountain tops. His insight is spot-on. In this valley I found the provisions that would assist me in facing the terrible things I would soon have to endure.
It was at this time, that even in darkness my life began to bloom mentally. I was diagnosed with a mental illness on top of physical health conditions that were being instigated by stress. Through 11 years of rigorous treatment that involved things that I cannot even begin to describe to you, I am here now. This is my hymn. I am here right now; I am physically healthy and mentally stout. I am proud to have been dealt this challenge in my life. It was the perfect storm. I have a wonderful support system, amazing values, intelligence, and the ability to overcome adversity. I have adapted the Tae Kwon Do lifestyle into my new life on the mountain top. There is no other way I can live and be healthy. My human nature is sensitive and caring. I appreciate every living thing just the way it is, and would in fact put myself to punishment before others. I am able to persevere through the roughest of times; in great physical pain and agonizing mental conditions. My spirit cannot be subdued or overcome; my courage is unconquerable. I am an indomitable warrior.
Few people understand mental illness. I may seem like a very normal person to you, or I may not. Some days, even though my life is wonderful and I am full of hope, the neurons in my brain are compromised. Simply put, chemical signals are unable to follow the correct pathways and proceeding processes cannot be carried out. The side effects are intrusive and disturbing thoughts, physically intolerable sensations, pain and an overall confusion of ones presence. It becomes so difficult to even exist when one is flooded with these conditions; however, my discipline to endure through the storm has come from martial arts training. I have read that good martial artists do not need to anticipate what is coming. Mistakes are made this way. They sit in the moment and respond as necessary. This learned skill that I speak of is found in the lifestyle of a martial artist.
Jung's Tae Kwon Do is one of the few schools that remain as a traditional style of martial arts. In the United States, we focus on the sport portion of Tae Kwon Do. I encountered this at another school where I was given an orange belt by the instructor, who knew I was a black belt from Jung's Tae Kwon Do, and told to win the sparring division at a large tournament. With the win, the school would earn the team championship. I could not participate in the falsehood. Lying to win is not earning something. I am so grateful to be returning to a school that has kept its traditions and values for over 40 years. Arms have been held wide open to me and have welcomed me back. Grandmaster Jung told me something that I will never forget. Jung's Tae Kwon Do is my home school, it is where I began my martial arts journey, and I will always be able to return no matter the circumstance. For me, life can only continue to improve because I am home again. Home is where you thrive. I am back on the mountain top, and it is now my goal to assist others through the valley.
